Founded in 1764 by the distinguished yet eccentric physicist, Herbert P. Flignitz, an Austrian immigrant widely credited with discovering the bile duct of the Atlantic Cod, the Flignitz Institute has grown from its quaint and humble origins into the vast, pretentious, and bloated monolith it is today.

Often referred to as, “more Ivy League than the Ivy League itself,” the Flignitz Institute proudly continues a relentless 250-year tradition of rigorous scientific mendacity, culturally diverse equivocation, rote academic mediocrity, and excessive alcohol consumption.

Even now, as we forge our destiny into the future, the Flignitz Institute remains faithful to the lofty ideals of our founding father, the esteemed Professor Flignitz, who once said, “Tis not man’s bread crumb caught on his beard that makes his place at God’s supper table, but gravy lapped o’er the edges of his plate, after he pushed beans too closely to biscuit, whilst searching for his lost barley corn ’neath the mashed potato. Aye, that makes him a neighbour of the common folk, about whom he wonders aloud, pushed back his chair after the Divine feast, and his own noxious belching.”

Note: This site is currently undergoing renovation.

Please check back soon for the new Flignitz Institute web site.